


Donut Holes and Assholes

by MrsElric



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-15
Updated: 2015-10-15
Packaged: 2018-04-26 13:41:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5006845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrsElric/pseuds/MrsElric





	Donut Holes and Assholes

“Fuck this, I’m done with this shit. Goodbye.”  
It was 5:30 and I had just walked into the The Donuts Of Freedom, and I could already smell something awful in the kitchen.

“Hey shortie what’s up?” Hanji smirked as she strode out of the kitchen. With a quick wink she adjusted the thick goggles over her eyes which signaled that she had been experimenting again.

Great. The sun wasn't even up and Hanji had already managed to remind me of why I hated my job. 'Why am I not surprised?' I mentally asked while shaking my head.

“What the fuck do you want four eyes?” I couldn't be bothered to deal with her shit right now, it was way too early.

“Well I guess someone woke up on the wrong side of the be-”

“Doesn’t he always then?” Ymir interrupted, walking out of the dining room area, clearly not pleased with the state of the kitchen either.

I sighed and walked away, pretending I didn’t hear the ongoing conversation. Today we were getting three new workers transferred to our location. What did this mean for me? More brats to babysit on a day to day basis, fan-fucking-tastic. 

Why today of all times? I asked myself. Actually, it probably would have been better not to get any new people at all. That would be nice, I mean, I’d already had more than enough morons to deal with. We didn't need anymore. I thought, washing my hands and getting ready to open.

It wasn't long before Erwin walked in from his office with a smile plastered on his face. 

“Why are you suddenly so happy-go-lucky?” I asked, not the slightest bit interested in what he had to say.

“Guess what?”

Every time this blonde idiot said ‘Guess what?’, it somehow resulted with me pissed at the end of the day. Well, more pissed than usual at least.

“What now old man?” I asked blankly as I grabbed my assigned apron and tied it on.

“We are not just getting three new workers, we’re getting five!” He grinned, knowing just how much it would annoy me. 

Goddamit. Of course we are. My day was just getting better by the second.

I looked beside me, seeing Ymir roll her eyes before letting out a low groan. Well, at least we could agree about something. I watched as she pulled her iPhone out of her pocket, probably to send her girlfriend a text to update her on the news.

“Well, when do they plan on showing up?” I asked, still irritated by the sudden surprise he had sprung on us.

“Hmm lets see, it’s 5:34, so about a half hour.” He shrugged, looking down at me with that shit eating grin still on his face.

“And it didn’t cross your mind that it would be a good idea to tell us ahead of time?” I asked, crossing my arms and glaring up at him. I swore, that these people would drive me insane.

“Well, I thought it would be great idea to make it a surprise instead.”

Of course he did, in his mind all his ideas are great. Did he even take into consideration how this was going to affect us? Or was having us completely clueless to what he was doing a good thing?

Suddenly the front door unlocked and in came a tiny blonde. She was shorter than me, and that was really all I liked about her. She wasn't nearly as bad as Hanji and Erwin, but she wasn't too great either. In all honesty, she wasn't quite the smartest. Ymir always has to go behind her and fix every mistake that she made. Also she smiled too much. Yeah. That too. I couldn't tell if they were dating or not, but really I didn't care either. But there was definitely something more than ‘friendship’ between them. Considering I had to sit here everyday and watch them be all ‘lovey dovey’, yeah, it got pretty awkward. It wasn't that I had a problem with the relationship really, but wouldn’t you be annoyed if you had to watch them nonstop for hours every single day?

“Look who finally joined party?” Ymir casually said as she went over to her and wrapped an arm around her waist.

Yeah, there was no way that this was just a ‘friend’ of Ymir's.

“Where are Isabel and Farlan?” Erwin asked as he looked around for them.

“Late. As usual…” Mike, the tall dirty blonde who had been quiet up until now commented while spraying down the table.

What was up with that guy? I didn't like him. He had always had something against Isabel and Farlan.

I mean, I knew that he was the co-owner of the place, but JEEZ, he didn't need to act all high and mighty all the time.

“Are Sasha and Connie here yet? It would-”

Suddenly there was a crash in the kitchen and slight screech of a female voice. I guess it was no mystery where they were now…

“Nevermind. Levi please go in the kitchen and bring them out?”

Of course he told me to do it. 

I walked into the kitchen to find Connie raiding the top rack of freshly made donuts, and Sasha trying to pick up and clean up the mess of icing that was on the floor from her attempted theft. At Least once every two weeks or so they raid the kitchen like this. Couldn’t they just ask to have a donut? I mean really? This was getting old.

Sasha looked at me and then immediately recoiled in fear from my infamous glare. 

“DON’T TAKE MY FOOD SUPPLY AWAY PLEASE!!!” 

Are you fucking serious? She was worried about not getting food anymore? I could probably have had her fired and she wouldn’t even care. She wasn't even worried about me hitting her or something. But no. She was worried about her fucking food supply being cut off. I would never understand this girl…

“Who said I was going to do that? You guys need to really stop raiding the kitchen. Also Mr. Eyebrows would like to see you.” I said as I glared at Connie who continued to stuff his face with a donut.

I slapped the donut out of his hand because he obviously didn’t care, considering he didn’t even acknowledge my existence yet.

“Can you not do that right now?” I growled through my teeth as I put the abused donut on the counter. “Go report to Erwin because he didn’t even know you were here.” I said starting to clean up the icing mess with a wet cloth.

“Also… If you plan on raiding the kitchen, word of advice. Don’t pull it off like a dumb ass. So basically what you did today.” I went and grabbed the mop, hating, hating my life.

“Yes Sir!” They both ran out of the kitchen and to Erwin, and I stayed in the kitchen mopping and scrubbing the icing up from everywhere in the room. Fucking messy brats…could they go one day without leaving a fucking mess for me to clean up? 

When I finally finished picking up the huge mess that Connie and Sasha left, I made my way back into the dining area where everyone was talking except for Connie and Sasha, as they had gotten put on bathroom duty for the rest of the week as punishment, and were currently cleaning the mens room.

“Are Farlan and Isabel still not here?” I asked Erwin. 

“Nope, but the newbies will be here in a minute, so I want you to play nice. You know how to do that right Levi?” Erwin said as he narrowed his eyes at me.

I rolled my eyes, sarcastically saying, “Oh me? What do you mean I need to play nice, aren't I always?” 

Everyone cringed with the exception of Hanji who burst out laughing. 

I sighed and stood leaning on the wall waiting for the newcomers, while the others made small talk.

The door soon opened and in came four males and one female. 

“Hi there! You must be the new transfers! Great to have you on the team!” Erwin said happily as he greeted them.

First was a blond boy slightly taller than me with shoulder length hair and glasses. He seemed like the type to take orders without question. Next came a boy with two toned hair. This one also wore glasses but I was 99% sure that they were non-prescription. He looked like a horse but probably was more of an ass. After that came a girl who had dark hair and a face that seemed uninterested. She seemed alright I guess, polite I think. The tallest of the five was next, a smiling boy with freckles all over his face. He had dark brown hair parted down the middle. Finally at the back of the group was a boy with messy brown hair and the most beautiful green eyes- 

Wait, what was I thinking? No. He was no more special than the rest of them. If anything, he looked like trouble.

They all lined up side by side and each said who they were and one thing about themselves. 

The blond one with went first. “I’m Armin Arlert, and I enjoy reading books.”

Then the one with freckles went next, “I am M-Marco Bodt, and I enjoy riding horses.”

Then the multicolored haired one went next, “I am Jean Kirstein, and I enjoy humiliating Eren in public by calling him a gay or queer.” The green eyed boy punched him and got ready to fight him, but was then prevented by the unimpressed girl because she held him back. 

Then the green-eyed one went and said, “I am Eren Jaeger and enjoy kicking horseface in the balls and making fun of Marco and Horseface and how they get it on at night-” Eren was suddenly cut off by the two toned asshole, and got punched in the face.  
Eren staggered back and started yelling at him. 

“GODDAMIT HORSEFACE WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR?!?” 

“IT WAS FOR SAYING THAT!”

“I SAID IT FOR WHAT YOU SAID!”

“OH YEAH? WELL YOU DESERVED IT YOU FUCKING-”

I’d had enough of this bullshit.

“ENOUGH. SIT DOWN AND SHUT THE FUCK UP BOTH OF YOU!” I yelled, giving them one of my strongest glares, scaring the living shit out of them.

They both quickly sat down, and glared at each other while Erwin gave his newbie speech.

After he finished everyone got up, and since Erwin already knew who was coming in and what their name were, he already had name tags and aprons made for them, he told them to go get them on and assigned them each a position to work in.

Erwin walked over to the current veteran workers saying “You guys should go easy on the noobs, so if they mess up, don’t flip out or get mad. That goes for you especially, Levi.”

“Why are you just addressing me? I mean, I think I can sometimes be a pretty good guy, right? RIGHT?“

The whole room fell silent for a solid thirty seconds before Ymir finally spoke up. 

“Okay hold on. Connie came in and the first thing he said was you slapped the donut out of his hand. Then Sasha said you screamed that you might take away her food supply. Such a cruel human being you are.” Ymir said as she smiled while narrowing her eyes.

Okay really Sahsa? Thanks a lot. “Okay first off, I slapped the donut out of his hand because he was being a dick. Second, I never said I was gonna get rid of her food supply. Plus, I was pissed off because not only had Sasha manage to get icing allll over the counters and floor, She got some on the ceiling.” 

Sasha poked her head out of the bathroom, with a look of pure terror on her face. “DON’T TAKE AWAY MY FOOD SUPPLY!!!” She yelled.

Everyone looked and just stared at her with eyes screaming “BITCH ARE YOU DUMB OR WHAT?!” 

But still Sasha continued to beg and plead completely oblivious to what actually to what was actually said.

“Okay bitch first off-” I was then cut off by Erwin glaring at me and saying, 

“Levi.”

Ugh, it was only like 6 am here and I was already being driven bat shit crazy…

Erwin then explained what actually happened to Sasha then she walked away like nothing ever happened. 

Then there was a crash from the kitchen. Oh goddammit, what now? I glared at the kitchen door, stomping over to it. 

“Levi, wait-” Erwin started, but I was already through the door. 

I stopped dead in my tracks, there was icing and batter all over the floor and the counters. One of the racks of fresh donuts was knocked down, the donuts now scattered everywhere. Oh, and to top it all off you know who was fighting in the middle of it? Eren Jaeger and Jean Kirstein. Oh I was gonna kill them... 

They were still fighting, not even acknowledging my existence. That’s the second time today. Son of a bitch. “What. The. Fuck. Did. You. Two. DO?” I yelled and glared at them, instantly causing them freeze and scramble to get up.

“ARE YOU GUYS EVER GOING TO LE-” 

Suddenly the door to the kitchen busts open and in came running Isabel and Farlan.

“Hey Levi-bro sorry we’re-” Suddenly Isabel was cut off because Farlan bumped into her causing her to slip in a puddle of bright pink icing. The whole thing resulted in another rack of donuts being knocked over and me storming off from the kitchen telling Erwin I wanted to put in my two week absence notice. Erwin kindly declined and the kitchen got taken care of by the others. Jean and Eren were separated for the day. 

Not even an hour later, I was wiping down one of the tables when suddenly this four year old boy walked out of the bathroom with no pants on and no underwear on, and started walking my way towards his family which was sitting in the table right across from me. I figured this kid was going to grab a spare set of clothes that was laying on the table, but NOOOOOO. He decided to pop a squat right over my shoe and take a shit.

I froze, taking a minute to think about what the fuck just happened. Did this kid just shit on my shoe? DID THIS KID JUST SHIT ON MY FUCKING SHOE? My eyes just stared at my shoe, now covered in this kid’s shit. 

Hanji rushed over to the completely oblivious family and told them to pay and leave immediately. And I just stared at my poor shit-covered shoe. What. The. Actual. Fuck.  
This kid seriously just shat on my brand new shoe.

The family paid and left, and as soon as that door shut, my eye started twitching, I grabbed a fork and started charging towards the door getting ready to stab a bitch.

All the staff except the newbies had to come running and hold me down, I was fucking losing it.

“DO YOU NOT SEE WHAT THAT LITTLE SHIT DID?!?” I yelled, struggling against them and kicking my legs, screaming too. And this was the new workers first impression of me. “LET ME GO! I’M GONNA FUCKING KILL HIM! LET GO!” 

“Levi he was like four!” Erwin yelled.

“JUST LET ME FUCKING KILL HIM I DON’T GIVE SHIT I’M GONNA FUCKING KILL HIM! I’M FUCKING DONE JUST FUCKING KILL HIM, UGH ZDSDSDGDFHGSDHFGKJHESAFKHHFDLDFHFHFLKJDHFGSFGEFJGHKAFHGF-”

“LEVI! CALM. YOUR. SHIT!” Ymir screamed as she struggled to hold me down.

The newbies poked their heads out the kitchen door, staring at me in terror.

I said nothing, taking a deep breath and walked out the door, calling this day done.

I was about to get in my car when suddenly that beautiful green-eyed brat, Eren I think, grabbed my wrist, stopping me in my tracks. 

I let out a groan and rolled my eyes, but surprisingly wasn't too annoyed by his touch. I blushed faintly as he said, “Please don’t leave…”

All of the team starred out of the large window at the front of the shop, already knowing how I felt, before leaving and making their ways back to their own stations.

“Please...can you just let go of me..?” I asked quietly and pulled my wrist out of his grip, reaching for the car door. This fucking brat, he was after all one of the reasons I was pissed, how did he think he was gonna help?

Eren slowly backed up and I got in my car, driving away. I looked back at him through the mirror and slowly started to regret leaving him there with such a sad look on his face. Maybe if I forgot this ever happened, I’d calm down and start a new day tomorrow...Hopefully it would be better tomorrow at least…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I already have a another few chapters written but I need feed back on whether you guys want it or not .-.


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